Here lies Justice
by Crazy4Moony
Summary: SPOILERS! for the manga, volume 7 and following. Just because Near always wonders if L would judge them, would he still be alive and there to see how in love they were. And if he judges them, than is L really justice? MelloNear. Near's Pov. Review please.


**Here lies Justice**

**AN: Just because Near always wonders if L would judge them, would he still be alive and there to see how in love they were.  
It might be a bit sad, but it's happy ending, and I mean... L dies... it doesn't get much worse then that... Mello and Matt are still alive in the one, and will continue to live for ever... It's Near's pov. Hope you like! Review!**

'_Here lies justice_' and it could have been a lie, but Near didn't care. Didn't want to know. Didn't want to realize. '_Here lies justice_' but maybe he would judge them, and then he wouldn't be justice, just like all the rest. It's the way they moved around each other that seemed to be wrong. The way they danced in circles, avoiding the other's eye. It was the way rejection was hard, but making up was harder. Near didn't understand, and it bothered him how the one thing he needed most in his life was the one thing he couldn't seem to control. It was how they talked when everyone was gone, and how it felt to live in a world with only the two of them. Near knew that he should have been able to resist, but he simply couldn't, and asking him to, was too much.

His hand brushes away some dirt that has gotten on the marble stone, and the flowers he leaves are all wrong. They don't fit the scenery and they're obscene— almost something you give to a lover, not something you leave on the grave of your dead friend. He even bought cookies, thinking that if there was an afterlife, then maybe L was looking down at him, and the thought of Panda-cookie-goodness would surely make him smile. But he couldn't leave cookies on a grave. That was out of line, something you just don't do.

The stone is cold and Near knows people haven't been there in a while. The Wammy-kids, or those that used to be Wammy-kids, visited every two weeks, at the least. But it was winter and cold, so they couldn't be blamed. Near didn't mind the snow, and he'd rather not go two weeks without L. His head was so full that he needed this. Even if it was just a tombstone stating: '_Here lies justice_' something that could be right, but no one was sure.

The other boy said nothing but his eyes followed Near's hands. Near could tell. He was restless. Graveyards were not his thing; no matter how much he looked like hell itself spit him out. He could settle with visiting the marble stone though, but that did not mean he felt comfortable around it. He'd rather not think about death, and how their friend and mentor was right there, under the grass. Though he was miles away at the same time. He muttered something, his breath coming out in white puffs of air, and Near knew he was praying. 'Too late.' He wants to say, but that would not be fair. He knew neither of them had wanted this to happen, and to tell the blonde his prayers were useless and did not come on time, would be like blaming him. He could not do that, for he also knew that this wasn't the first time the blonde prayed for L. No. When the other thought Near was asleep, he would sometimes whisper prayers of wellbeing, and would hope that L would get through. He never did this when Near was awake, because he believed it would upset him. Which it did. Because if even the blonde needed reassurance that L would be okay, things were definitely not looking good. Because if anyone relied on L, it was the blonde. Him needing to pray in order to believe L was okay, was bad. And it always made Near hug closer to the body next to him, pretending to be sleeping.

Sometimes Near thinks back to when they were a family— a perfect union of three people. When the blonde hadn't scarred himself yet, and L was not yet dead. As to Near, he hadn't changed much. He was still the same. He hadn't been in a place that was about to explode, and he hadn't been killed by a God of Death. Their family had been slightly out of place, but great. And at least it was _family_, something Near had never had before. He liked the idea of that. And even though the two of them were still a family, (_more_, he realized when the blonde intertwined their gloved finger) it was sad that they were without their third part. Heart shattering, or so it had been in the beginning— now, merely something you have to live with. He didn't like L being dead. But he must admit, if he would have to chose between the blonde and L?— the blonde. Because even though his heart hurts, being without L, even the idea of being without the blonde ripped his heart in two and enabled him to breathe.

Near leaves the box of cookies on the stone anyways. It didn't matter. It's the gesture that counts, and if some poor hobo passed by, well, Panda-cookie-goodness was very tasty, so they wouldn't go to waste. He still doesn't move, but watches the stone instead. The blonde fidgets with his rosary, and pushes Near's hat over his ears, mumbling something like: 'you'll get sick' but nothing too loud, nothing to break the moment. Near wants to smile gratefully but he doesn't.

He believes that when they'll die, it will be messy and darker than anything has been before. He really wants to believe that it will be worth it. He is happy that life isn't as cold as it was before, happy the blonde is there, because without him, it surely _wouldn't_ have been worth it.

It's the feeling of being right there. The movements that are wrong but perfect and right. A kiss put to his cheek and a hand against his thigh. It's being quiet whilst screaming, and lungs failing whilst breathing hard. When they're next to each other, looking up at the ceiling and babbling nonsense, he thinks that if life goes on like this, it would be okay. But it's not going to, because even if his blonde loves him, he can't be passive— never will he settle with a restful life. He needs the adrenaline pounding through his veins and the thrill of a gun against his head. The only way Near can give him that is during love-making. And even though Near likes that part of their relationship very much, he's not sure if he could go on for the rest of their lives, none-stop. So he can not give the blonde that feeling for ever, and therefore, he'll leave and return. Return, yes, but leave too. And Near knows that one day he won't return. Or have nothing to return to. He just chooses not to think about it.

Near turns around into the blonde's warm embrace. He stands on tiptoes and nuzzles the older boy's neck. He can barely reach— hasn't grown at all, while it's all the blonde does. They stand there for a while, and then Near places a kiss on the marble— freezes his lips off too, but he couldn't be damned— and they leave.

When they're back on the streets, a voice asks: "wanna get something to eat?" And he nods. The silence is over, but he doesn't really mind. Thoughts of L and judgment, pff, he wants them gone. Because if this isn't right, then what is? This has to be okay, or he has nothing to live for. Nothing to fight for, nothing to die for.

'_Here lies justice_' and it really does, because this is L, and L sees all, L understands all, L helps all. And it really isn't a lie. Near finds it is easier to ignore all those that stumble over words when they try to explain what L meant to the world—he fixed the wrongs, gave him a family. If that wasn't good, nothing was. '_Here lies justice_' and Near knew that even in the afterlife, he wouldn't judge them, just smile as Near stood on tiptoes and tried to reach the blonde's mouth—he couldn't get there. So when he bends to let Near connect their lips, he knows it's fine, no matter what the rest says. They're a family of three, and only the opinion of those three matters.

'_Here lies justice_' and those who disagreed could just go fuck themselves.

_Fin_

**AN: I wrote that in half an hour, so if it sucks, I'd like to know... I liked writing it though, it felt good to let it all out, because I sort of wrote this for all those who doubts that L is good. He's Justice, in the best way there is. And as said: those who disagree, can just go fuck themselves.**

**Everyone who loves L will review ! Ö! (Please?)**


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